Today is a little day at LOC we like to call Freaky Freaking-Out Day. We are literally shaking in our
But right now isn’t about us. It’s about you.
It’s parade time.
So, you’ve got your purple, green and gold on. You’ve got the ice chest packed. You’ve already picked up the Popeye’s family pack. Now comes the biggest decision of all: Which parade should I go see?
While all the parades are worth a watch, not all krewes were created equal. The not so humble opinions of our Carnival vets’, mixed in with the fresh-eyed opinions of our newer New Orleanians, has resulted in a list of the 10 best parades that’ll roll in the next six days.
Take notice that 9 out of 10 of these parades roll through uptown (although they all start, end and wind through the city on their own routes). Therefore, if you don’t plan on tracking each parade individually, plan on setting up shop on St. Charles between Louisiana and Napoleon for prime viewing.
10) Proteus – (Monday, 5:15pm) The second oldest parade in the city, the Krewe of Proteus is the opening band for Orpheus’ main performance. Playing off the look and feel of Carnival how it was a century ago, it raises your BMGC (Blood/Mardi-Gras Content) to the needed level to achieve an intense Mardi Gras high. We appreciate Proteus’ focus on raising our BMGC levels so that we can spend the rest of the night raising our BAC (Blood/Alcohol Content) levels. Don’t say that Mardi Gras doesn’t care.
9) Mid-City – (Sunday, 11:45am) This krewe’s mottos is “Pour La Joie de Vivre” and we enjoy everything it has to offer, from the great bands (from across the nation) to the super shiny floats, it’s one to make room for on your schedule. Keep in mind that they use tinfoil to decorate their parade, so as much as you want to… it can’t be microwaved. However, on a sunny afternoon (God, hear our prayers) there’s a strong chance the sun’s reflection off the floats will microwave your face. Therefore, we recommend packing sunglasses (unless you’re like some LOC women who will try almost anything to get a tan in late February.)
8) Rex – (Tuesday, 10:00am) Rex is King of Mardi Gras. And that is the only reason that this krewe makes the list. I know, it’s blasphemy to insult the mighty Rex, but it just isn’t the best. However, we’ll still pay homage as Rex is one of the most classic and influential parades of Mardi Gras. It’s credited with invention of the doubloon, carnivals’ colors of purple, green and gold, and Mardi Gras’ anthem. So yes we rather be bowing due to getting Smirnoff “Iced” on the parade route, yet we gladly will bow down to the all mighty King of Rex.
7) Toth – (Sunday, 12:00pm) Known for its standout king and title floats, this has become an underdog favorite in the city. It’s definitely one of the rowdier parades and we’lll even go as far as saying that Toth can bring the house down. It’s plausible that might have something to do with the large contingent of Challamation members…
Parade Goer:s “Challmations, can you do that for me every Mardi Gras?”
Challmations: “Parade Goers, not only will I do it for you, I… I… I… yes, yes, I’ll do it for you.”
(sorry for the slight, we do love y’all)
6) d’Etat – (Friday 6:30pm) A Krewe with a sense of humor, they always have a hilarious theme. It’s kept a secret up until the day of the parade, so you gotta be there to find out this year’s ‘targets’ of their satire. The post-Katrina and post BP oil spill processions hit a little too close to home for some, but they we’re likely the funniest to date. Catch a “D’Etat Gazette” a keepsake bulletin that includes drawings and descriptions of the floats. Useful if you’re a newbie to city and you need research the references made about people that have screwed over New Orleans past and present.
5) Orpheus (Monday, 6pm) - Combining celebs and parades like no other, this krewe actually has stars in the club. 504 legend Harry Connick Jr. was a cofounder, so hide your... Middle aged wives damnit, men; we were just informed that the younger women still go ga-ga for this guy. Hopefully male parade goers will have a fighting chance over the attention of your woman this year as it is without Harry and with Bret Michaels damnit, women like musicians too? If anything, let your girl pay attention to the elaborately-decorated floats and garner her attention with a shot of Patron when the 80’s rocker passes by.
4) Tucks (Sunday, 12pm) - The only parade where you don't have to worry about finding a toilet. Since they are part of the parade. Only something you would find in a krewe founded by local college kids; this little gem is bound to make you crack a smile. (Man, we’re just as funny as they are! Maybe we should go back to college…)
3) Zulu (Tuesday, 8am) - the best parade on Mardi Gras day, Zulu is a hell of a ride. Perhaps the most coveted throw of Mardi Gras, Zulu pelts out painted coconuts to parade goers. Yes, many have suffered serious injuries from this act and therefore police now usher helmetless children back home to bed. But in our opinion, the risk is totally worth it, coconut water is soo “in” right now.
2) Bacchus (Sunday, 5:15, Uptown) - Bacchasaurus. Bacchawhopppa. Bacchagator. Bycch far one of the becchst parades out there; his super-krewe does it bicchg. The final salvo in a day filled with great parades, Bacchus is a great closer. So don’t plan on passing out from drinking before it starts. Instead plan to have two less beers and plan to go streaking down the parade route with a group of friends, in honor of The God of Wine, Will Ferrell, who will be riding that day. It’s been said that seeing his fans do this is one of his greatest pleasures in life, unless of course you forget your green hat, in which case he will look away in scornful shame.
1) Endymion (Saturday, 4:15pm) – We may be biased, but we sure do believe it’s the best. The only parade on this list not to roll down the traditional Uptown route, Endymion rolls the mid-city route. By itself. Because that's how they do it. It's a shit-show from sun-up to sun down. There's just something about Endymion that's makes everyone... well, drunk. Some may it's the alcohol...but if you’ve ever read any of our posts before… we don’t necessarily like to drink. We won’t tell you any more about it; just recommend you experience it for yourself. Sober, ha.
“Laissez les bon temps rouler”
- The Freaky Freaking LOCers
rain for Saturday so it’s possible that Bacchus and Endymion will combine to create Bacchadymion on Sunday (parading on Bacchus’ traditional route). We’re hoping that something this unfortunate wouldn’t happen to us two years in a row, but we’re not ones to get upset by the turmoil caused by a little rain. Separate, together, whenever, wherever, we will be there.
Check back for updates, we’ll post any changes as soon as we hear the news.
Insider Tip:
The forecast expects Check back for updates, we’ll post any changes as soon as we hear the news.
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