Carnival Season Has Commenced: A recap of LOC’s first parade experience of 2012

Krewe de Vieux: The first parade of the Mardi Gras season... Where we got the party started. And we also got the party stopped.

The Facts:
Before you even see the parade, Krewe de Vieux has something innately special about it as it’s one of the few parades that actually gets to parade through the French Quarter. Corny as it sounds, having parading hearts in the heart of Nola is truly an awesome aspect of this parade. Last year we chose to experience it among the super crazies of Frenchmen Street and this year we chose to experience it among the regular crazies behind St. Louis Cathedral. Both were impressive spots and I can’t imagine there is poor spot from which to view this parade. Another enriching aspect of KdV is the old fashioned, horse drawn floats, which are actually designed and created by the krewe members. Possibly the most fun part of this parade is that it’s a marching parade which allows you to interact with all the krewe members as they pass by. And with that being said, even though this parade isn’t the biggest or most lavishly funded parade of Mardi Gras, until the year Rex gets off his throne to come dance with us in the street, Krewe de Vieux will continue to be relevant and entertaining.    

"Can't look directly at D*ick in Box...
Jesus is staring at us..."

The Fun:
Now let's be real. If you know what Krewe de Vieux is all about, what we've mentioned thus far is accurate, but it's definitely not in the highlight reel of what you remember from the night.
KdV is a vulgar little vixen of a parade.
AKA it was amazing to watch the parade from behind the St. Louis Cathedral but we did feel a little uncomfortable with the proximity of the church to the vulgarity of the parade.

But once we made a conscious decision that Jesus would forgive us for our sins, we allowed ourselves to be delightfully shocked by the ridiculousness of the sardonic and vulgar things that passed us by. Per the theme of this year parade, we were surrounded by sizeable “Crimes Against Nature” IE: life-sized cochroaches, larger-than-life-sized "d*ck-in-a-box"es, and Anna-Nicole-Smith-sized boobs were everywhere.

By the end of the parade we deemed our first experience of the carnival season a success: we laughed, we sang, we danced, we drank, we caught beads, we wore purple, green and gold and we donned diamond encrusted stunna shades. Basically we Mardi-Grawed.  

Yet, even with some of the most legendary Mardi Gras goers on our side, we'll admit we made a couple of mistakes. Here is a list of "do's" and "don'ts" we compiled from the first parade of the season. Please be the silver lining to our night and learn from our wrongdoings.

Do:

Get downtown two hours before the parade starts to ensure a prime viewing spot.
Don't:
Leave it to the weakest members of your team (i.e. girls and passive boys) to be the designated savers of your spot. That extra 1/2 foot of room DOES make all the difference.

Do:

Try and get as many friends together in one spot to enjoy the parade together.

Don't:

Spend the two hours before the parade and the majority of the time during the parade continuing to do so. At some point, it's every parade goer for themself. Not to mention that you will have significantly more luck finding them after the 5,000 people around you clear out of the way.

Do:

Make friends with the other parade goers saving spots next to yours.
Don't:
Get too comfortable with them that they end up finding it acceptable to encroach on your spot.

Do:

Download the "Experience Mardi Gras" App on your iPhone to view the exact route of the parade you're watching (some parades even have real time tracking).
Experience Mardi Gras (online schedule)
Don't:
Make fun of a Mardi Gras newbie for downloading this app on their iPhone, as you will ask to see their phone a minimum of five times throughout the night.

Do:

Concentrate on getting at least one of the best beads and throws being tossed at each parade.
Don't:
Deem any throw worthy enough to disgrace yourself or your body in order to get it. (OK, maybe if it's thaaaaaaaaaaaaat good.)

Do:
Have drinks and shots ready to hand to/pour down the throats of your friends walking in the parade you're watching.
Don't:
Serve the same amount to your guy friends as you do to your girl friends. (Cue 1am when your guy friend is sober and your girl friend is puking.)

Do:

Bring your own alcohol or purchase some at a liquor store downtown.
Don't:
Bring your own alcohol (or that which you purchase at a liquor store downtown) into a bar with you later that night. It will be too heavy for a girl's purse. It will be too heavy for a boy's back pocket. And it will definitely be too noticeable wrapped up in a sweatshirt. You and all of your friends will be kicked out.

Do:
Go to a wired and energetic bar upon conclusion of the parade as to not crash from your parade-high.
Don't:
Go to your favorite and most fun bar upon conclusion of the parade only to get kicked out thirty minutes later and have no idea how to spend the rest of the night. (This should be relatively easy as long as you strictly adhere to the aforementioned "Don't".)

Do:

Have an awesome time regardless of the inevitable ups and downs that come your way during a day of parade going.
Don't:
Bother coming to watch a parade with us if you are going to let these inevitable ups and downs ruin your day.

So here we leave you. 1 parade down, 59 more to go.We hope this information has served you well, but don't worry it's just a starting point. If the anxiety of acomplishing a successful Mardi Gras is still weighing on you like the extra King Cake fat is weighing on us, be sure to check back over the next few weeks on how to get your full dosage of debachuery before the lenten season.

“Laissez les bon temps rouler”

          - The LOC Parade Goers